Heteronormitivity is assumed, this is a known fact. At first glance we assume that everyone is heterosexual with purely heterosexual instincts and desires. Feminism has done an excellent job debunking the myth of heteronormitivity by making it okay to love who you love. That whether LGBTQ love, is love. This fact is one of my favourite things about being a feminist, that we should celebrate love between consenting individuals rather than just between a man and a woman.
However, while it is okay to be LGBTQ within the feminist movement, I feel it is has created a stigma towards being a heterosexual feminist. In many ways I feel isolated from the feminist movement, theories and activism because I am a heterosexual woman. I keep looking at other women, and try to see them in sexual ways, but it doesn’t happen for me. But yet when I see men I begin to feel “all excited”. I know I am heterosexual. I will fully admit that I love cock. But does it make me a bad feminist for not opening myself up to love from anyone. In some ways it makes me feel like because I am not a lesbian or bisexual woman that I don’t get to fully experience feminism. That “I’m sleeping with the enemy” in way.
I cannot speak for other heterosexual feminists but my experiences have left me feeling isolated within the movement. Making wonder why I don’t like women, I’m a feminist, I should like women too right? I should be open to experience love with anyone, including another woman. But yet at the same time, I don’t feel myself attracted to other women. I go to parties and have female friends (who claim heterosexuality) making out with one another and it does nothing for me. I don’t feel any urge to participate.
Is my heterosexuality bad, is it a result of societies influence on me or is it something that like homosexuality is biologically determined, is biologically engrained in me too? Do other feminists think less of me because I enjoy being intimate with men?
Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe I am distancing myself within the feminist movement. I don’t know. Has anyone had this experience?
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