Lately I have been noticing the implications of the “fairy-tale life” that is spoon fed to young girls, well all women if I am being honest.
As soon as it is announced, “It’s a girl”, there is assumption that this little person is in need of rescuing. While this is not always conscious I would argue that to some extent it is always there. If you look at the ways in which people interact with babies this is clearly demonstrated. How do you act with a little boy? You through him in the air or bounce him around on your knee. If it was a baby girl, you are more likely to play peek-a-boo or tickle her to make her smile. These different styles of interaction clearly show a gender distinction. Why not through the baby girl in the air or tickle the baby boy? Because you are both consciously and unconsciously making a distinction between the two children, based on the fact that one was born with a penis and one with a vagina.
As the child grows older, we transfer our expectations into actions. As I have said before, I am presently working in a children’s store. When I am at work it absolutely drives me crazy but the first two questions I am supposed to ask someone when they are looking for a present for a child is: what is the child’s age and what is the child’s gender. Once I know those two things I point them in gender stereotyped directions. Little girls go to the dolls and crafts, little boys to the cars and dinosaurs. I try and sneak other options in there, but it is only like 1 in 30 times am I successful. The most successful I tend to get is when you get to the animal figurine section, which are apparently ‘gender neutral’. These children, are partitioned into boy and girl and TRAINED how to act their sex. In fact, from my interactions with children, they are bigger gender police than a lot of adults.
But what really gets me is the notion that is presented to little girls of the princess culture. (For the purposes of this article, when I refer to princess culture I am referring primarily to Disney Princesses, as they are the most stereotypical of my argument.) Truthfully I have mixed emotions about the princess culture. One the one hand, they tell young girls you can achieve the world. For example, in Beauty and the Beast, Belle does not want to settle for a life with the stuck-up, self-centered, arrogant, asshole that is Gaston. Instead she wants to find something more with her life. If you cannot see me right now I am applauding you Disney, good job! Pat yourself on the back! But at the same time, each of these young princesses is so defined by their prince, their knight in shining armour, their “savour”. If you think of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, both women needed to be awakened from their spell by their ‘true love’. Aurora and Snow White are not the only princesses that needed to be rescued: Belle was saved by the Beast from marrying Gaston and Cinderella was saved from her ‘miserable’ life by her prince. All these women were rescued or saved by the man of their dreams.
Not too long ago I was babysitting for a young girl who is in love with the princess culture. As I was tucking her into bed, it was her decision as to what book we read. She chose a book of princess weddings. The book consisted of two pages of each princess as they got prepared for their wedding and got married to their prince. Some princesses had to pick out their dress, while others just admired their decorations or how lucky they were to marry their prince. It really makes me wonder what we are telling young girls today. Princesses can be strong role models, however when you are defining them in terms of their prince, I do not at all think that the princess culture is teaching young girls any positive messages. We are telling young girls that your prince will save you, you will ride off into the sunset and live “Happily Ever After”. That may be the case for some women but it is anything but the norm.
To me it is like looking at the depictions of women in the media, they are all skinny, pretty and preppy and then looking at women in real life. Women in real life come with curves and personalities. It is unrealistic to tell young girls that they are guaranteed to happily ever after, in particular to define their happiness by the man in their life. Why can’t we teach young girls to stand up for themselves, to in a way be their own prince, to be their own “savour”?
The “Fairy-tale Life” that we are telling young girls exists is unreasonable and irresponsible. These princesses are smart, intelligent and capable women, that much does come off viewing their stories, however I would really love to see a princess who finds her own happy ending. She can have a prince (or even another princess – why not have a queer princess, but that is a whole other can of worms), by her side but why can’t we see a princess kick ass! Prince’s fight dragons and save the day. Where is our Joan of Arc in children’s form? Please Disney if you are reading this, people would love to see a princess that saves her own day. Without it we are telling young girls their life is in another’s hands. Women are the subject of their own lives not the object, so let her kick some ass please! (and thank-you!)
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