Dating Snobs...

Sooooo... I thought I would try the whole Online dating thing. And while I am sure there are many amazing guys out there, it is the select few like this one that make me question humanity.  He first messaged me with this:

Not going to lie. I was excited and decided to message him back... Then he said this:

While he might think this is funny, hate to break it to you bucko but its not! It's rude and inconsiderate! And frankly if perpetuates many negative stereotypes and feeds into my own insecurities. I know that I am not a 5'10" supermodel build woman and that is something that I personally cope with on a daily basis. but it is pricks like you that feed my insecurities about my body. And I am SURE I am not the only girl out there that feels this way or got such a rude reply from you.

So you know what bucko... get over yourself! You aren't some god to women and furthermore you need to think before you act. Words can hurt and your words have definitely hurt me. But instead of letting you continually hurt me I am going to stand up for myself. Beauty comes in many shapes, sizes and forms and I truly believe that I am beautiful! You may not see that but yours is just one opinion and truthfully not the opinion that matters to me. So while your words hurt for a minute, as I post this blog I have released them to universe and forgiven you. I really hope you can grow up and realize that what you say affects people.

"Mom Watchers"

Four months after giving birth to her daughter Jessica has recently announced that she has lost more than 40 pounds of baby weight and has become the new spokeswoman for Weight Watchers. While I am very happy for Jessica for taking control of her life through her weight loss, this dramatic weight loss creates an unrealistic portrayal of female body and motherhood. In addition to all the other ads women are exposed to on a daily basis now we have an advertisement preaching that to be a “better version of [your]self” for your children you need to be skinny.

            I found this particularly evident in her new Weight Watchers commercial in which she stares directly into the camera and says:

"I'm Jessica Simpson and yes, I'm doing Weight Watchers. There is a lot of pressure to lose weight but I'm not a supermodel. I'm just Jessica trying to eat real food in the real world and I really just wanna be healthy for my daughter. So I knew Weight Watchers was the only way to go. It's working. I'm on my way and it feels amazing. Really I just wanna be a better version of myself."

Hate to break it to Jessica but you are only adding to the pressures by being a part of this campaign. You are showing your daughter that there is something fundamentally wrong with gaining a couple extra pounds. That if your daughter was to ever gain weight, “Weight Watchers is the only way to go”. This is probably not the message you were intending however that is how it comes off.

            Being healthy is one thing, however being healthy is not correlated with being skinny. I know many “larger” individuals who are perfectly healthy and extremely fit. At the same time I know many individuals who are skinny and suffer from hidden health ailments. Your size does not determine your health, however we have come to consider one with the other.

            More importantly one’s size or health does NOT, determine one’s ability to be a “better” parent. I honestly was not aware that there was a standardized until of measurement by which we measure one’s parental abilities. Furthermore I didn’t know that one’s size was one of the criteria of measurement (*please note the sarcasm). Being a parent should be measured by one’s care, compassion and investment into the well-being of their children. None of these factors are determined by one’s size!

            Another interesting fact is that during the commercial you never see the progress of your weight loss, you only see Jessica’s face talking directly to you. She is talking to the viewer in a parental tone, that is supportive however at the same time holds direct motives, that if you are overweight your only option is to join Weight Watchers. While I applaud Jessica for losing the weight, her new campaign with Weight Watchers establishes an unrealistic expectation that to be the “best” mother is to be skinny.

Sources

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/11/jessica-simpsons-weight-watchers-commercial-video_n_1873783.html

http://www.tmz.com/2012/09/10/jessica-simpson-katie-couric-weight-loss/

Reclaiming Your Sexuality

Tedx is generally pretty amazing, however this one struck a chord with me. Watch and see for yourself.

An 'undarned' relationship

Relationships are hard. They are like pair of bad socks. They are stinky and sweaty. They keep you on your feet and can cause you a lot of pain. But at the same time they can teach you some good life lessons, like get a better pair of socks!

            Recently I hooked with my ex. He is a super guy (or I thought he was) and we just ended things because we come from different worlds, I am a city girl, he’s a country boy, and were ultimately at different places in our lives at that time. When we got back together he, held me like it never held me before. He made me feel so secure, like all my troubles were about to melt away. He looked me in the eyes and told me there was no body else, that he wanted to give us another shot.

            Needless to say, he wasn’t speaking the truth. The next day when searching a social networking site I find out he has a girlfriend. Furthermore the day before he updates his status to read: “It’s one thing to say she is the one, it’s another to know she is the one”. We were not even talking at that point. Our communication was a fluke happenstance!

            I know this isn’t the case with every relationship I will ever be in but right now I am feeling really upset that he lied straight to my face. Even worse I feel immensely guilty for being the other woman and assisting him in his cheating on her!! If I had known that she existed I WOULD NOT have done anything! But at the same time I asked him point blank and he told me there was no one else. I feel so played.

            I just don’t understand why relationships have to be so messy and painful. Why do they have to be like those undarned socks, painful, messy when your blisters pop and hurt like nobody’s business! But I did learn something for sure, won't be going back to that relationship any time soon. I am pretty sure this one pair of socks that cannot be darned!

Be Educated, Be Safe and Be Yourself!

I cannot get my mind around this. Selling pornography as science! Making sex addicts like drug dealers make drug addicts! Masturbation as a gateway drug! Just watch and you will see what I mean. 

This video makes me so f*cking mad! Stop making sexuality a horrible thing! Research shows that your children are going to have sex whether or not you give them an inclusive sex education or an abstinence based sexual education. The main difference being a higher rate of abstinence educated young adults with STI's and pregnancy rates because they have no idea what they are doing or how to keep themselves safe! Yes statistics may be what they are, but remember those statistics include both inclusively educated and abstinence educated children. Who is to say what proportion is which within those statistics. 

If you really want to keep your kids safe, allow them to know their f*cking body! If you don't know that your clitorous is covered by a hood (that it is not actually the little flappy bit you see at first glance) there is something wrong!

There is more than one way to love and I really wish that fundementalist groups would get it out of their head their heterosexual hypocritical bias and learn that love is love is love is love. People need to be safe which means they need to be educated! Be Educated, Be Safe and Be Yourself!!!

Happy You Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Single Awareness Day!

Happy Consumeristic Holiday!

Happy Anti-Independence Day!

Whatever you call today: Happy Day!

For my Valentines is a day of mixed emotions, while I love the idea of celebrating the love that exists between people, Valentines is such an overally consumeritic holiday that I feel it losses sight of what it actually about. It is not about the chocolates or the flowers, or the ooh so sexy lingerie. It is about saying to someone hey I care about you a fucking lot!

But what gets me is why can’t we do that everyday! Why can’t we everyday turn to the people close to us and say you mean a lot to me and I want you to know, just because. Why do we need a specific day to celebrate love? Can’t love be an everyday thing?

In addition, why does it have to be romantic love we celebrate? Why can’t we celebrate friendship, family, fuck just celebrate being you.

Whether it is you as a friend, you as a son/daughter, whomever you may be: take today and celebrate you. Who says you need to be in a relationship to celebrate Valentines Day. I surely don't, instead celebrate everything and anything that is important to you. 

So to everyone out there I wish you a Happy You Day!

If You Do NOT have Anything Nice to Say

I feel super insulted right now. One of my best friends ex’s, who I will refer to as Bob, as I don’t want to stoop to his level of low has recently been in a way been harassing me on Facebook. When it started he was dating my best friend, however since then they have broken up. At first it was my status asking for songs with feminist agenda’s for a project, seeing if anyone had any ideas and he gave me a link to “Big Booty Bitches”. Haha, okay I can laugh a little too, that is who he is whatever, I’m insulted but he was trying to ‘help’. But now it has come to things like this:

My Status: This prof is beginning to sound a lot like the teacher in Charlie Brown. He is talking but all I hear is whommp... whommp... whommp... whommp... whommp...

Bob: Women are allowed to attend school now? Wow times sure have changed

Bob: Are you majoring in cooking, or cleaning? Minoring in pleasing your future husband I'd assume

Yes, he replied to my status twice. After receiving these kinds of comments I said enough is enough and sent him the following email. The emails and status’ have been copied and pasted, so they are exactly as I received them.

Bob,

I really don't appreciate all the negative woman comments you have commented on my facebook. At first it was a joke, not it is not funny. Please stop. If you need to delete me as a friend. I won't be insulted if not just stop. Thanks, RadicalNotion

And his reply to this was as follows:

RadicalNotion,

Apparently you don't appreciate the english language. At first it was a joke, but now a female taking their computer privileges for granted is not funny. Please stop. If you need to make me a sandwich to make it up to me, I will not be insulted. 

Thanks,

Bob.

I don’t get it. I asked him nicely to stop and he just won’t needless to say we are not friends on Facebook anymore, but I don’t understand is why he feels the need to be so fundamentally rude about it. I don’t understand why people have to be so ignorant. Why do people have to be so rude and impulsively in your face. Hold your beliefs, but if you don’t have something nice to fucking say DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL! It’s a simply but affective rule.